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Party Time! ....excellent? - die Lindenbilder [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
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Party Time! ....excellent? [Dec. 9th, 2013|11:49 am]
die Lindenbilder
Saturday was our annual Fondue Party. We almost considered not having it this year due to the time, energy, and money it takes to put it on, but I was touched when people said they'd miss the party, so we had it.

It was a bit more low-key this year in that I had so much stuff handled well in advance that I wasn't rushing around at the last minute. Hell, I even had time for a nap prior to the party which NEVER happens. Once the party came, though, I couldn't shake some of my feelings of anxiety, and I don't know how "normal" people do it!

When you're throwing a party, how do you deal with having so many different groups of friends in one place? I CONSTANTLY felt like I was ignoring people (not intentionally, of course!), and being a bad hostess. I'd be finally relaxing, in the midst of a great conversation with someone, and then out of the corner of my eye, I'd see someone (or a couple) sitting alone, not talking to anyone. Staring off into space. Looking bored. I'd immediately jump into hostess mode & try to bounce over to them to chat, to offer them a drink, whatever. I never felt like I got to truly enjoy the party at all...I haven't felt like I've gotten to enjoy the party for a few years now. I feel like I'm so focused on making sure everyone ELSE is having fun, and not having enough fun myself. I always feel guilty after the party that I should have talked to certain people more. This year, I can think of a handful of people I barely said more than "Hello" to, and I feel like shit for that.

I know that you're not expected to be a dancing monkey for partygoers, and that they have some of the responsibility of entertaining themselves...but where is that balance?
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: schmooo
2013-12-09 09:20 pm (UTC)
I completely understand. Except I think that you're a MUCH better hostess than I am! I think that some people really just love hosting, and some don't. If you don't, then you run the risk of setting the mood for the event, so it's totally OK to tell them no if you're not up for it.

If everyone really needs this, it's totally reasonable for your group to rotate who hosts each year so that one person is never always stuck with the job.

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[User Picture]From: mesmerize77
2013-12-09 11:50 pm (UTC)
I thought the party went well! I agree with Steph that you do a great job at being a hostess. I think I'm the opposite at my parties, I make sure everyone knows where the food and booze are, aside from that I just try to have fun. :)
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[User Picture]From: searchingbuddha
2013-12-10 01:01 am (UTC)
I can't think of a party where I've been at that I've expected the hostess to entertain me - but in hostessing my own, I do try to introduce people to each other to make sure that no one is off on their own. I'm lucky enough to have the kind of friends that will adopt a new person, so they share the duties.

And yes, there's a point where you get to sit and talk with people for a while. I mean, it might be the size of your party - we never do more than 25 people or so, so it's pretty manageable. More than that, I think I'd feel much the same.
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