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die Lindenbilder

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Is it Spring yet? [Jan. 26th, 2015|03:50 pm]
die Lindenbilder
We're barely brushing the edges of the Winter season, and all I can focus on is looking forward to Spring. Bring on the longer days, the sunshine, the ability to wear a light hoodie, rather than a wool jacket + scarf + gloves + hat.

Figured I'd throw a little update on here. I still read everyone's posts consistently (well, the few who continue to post, anyway), but yet I so rarely update myself. Bullet points/lists might be best here...

THE GOOD

• I have always thrived on having events and vacations (even mini-outings) to look forward to. It's what keeps me going. So far this year, I already have three trips planned for sure.

In February, I'm going to NYC to see "Hedwig and the Angry Inch" (yes, again, but this time, starring John Cameron Mitchell - the man who created the role). I splurged (along with a friend) and we're sitting in the third row back. I already can't even focus, I'm that excited about it. We're also planning on going to Jekyll + Hyde's - a very touristy restaurant that I've been to before, but it's a fun place.

In April, I'm going back to NYC for the makeup con I attend each year (IMATS). I have someone go with, so that makes me happy. I was pretty convinced I'd have to go on my own.

In August, I'm flying out to Portland, OR for my gal's wedding. Should be a nice escape for a few days! I'm also looking into visiting a friend in Florida in March....and y'all know me. Of course I'm thinking about a Disney trip again this year. ;)

• On another good, albeit weird-to-some note...
I don't know what the exact cause of it was, but after thinking about it, I decided that I wanted to read more into something I was VERY into learning about in high school, and that's Wicca. It has just always been very beautiful to me. Now in my adulthood, there was something very appealing about the idea of performing rituals that would let you throw an idea or desire out into the ether and sort of let your mind wander away from it at that point. Also, I have a feeling that having something like this might help my anxiety a bit, as much of it seems to be about visualizing your health and well-being, and making it so.

I met up with a good friend who has been practicing for years, and she gave me a stack of books to keep. I only just finished the first (and most comprehensive) book, and I'm already a bit hooked. I've been VERY hesitant to talk about it, save for one or two people, because while I genuinely don't care what others think, I also don't particularly need to get any flack from people about it, as I'm a woman in her mid-30s exploring this. At the very least, I love reading about this and it has kept me super interested.

THE NOT-AS-GOOD

• My anxiety has not been so much fun lately. It is in no way debilitating, but it's there, mostly at night time. Maybe once every few weeks, I'll have a night where my brain is just RunningRunningRunning, and I don't know why.

I'm still 100% determined to TRY to help this on my own - without the use of a psychiatrist or meds - as much as I can. I cut out caffeine completely this past summer. I'm going to a meditation class this week to try to learn that. I'm going to try yoga, and hope to get back into my serious exercise routine. I really want to beat this and find healthy expressions for this.
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Comments:
From: schmooo
2015-01-27 09:39 pm (UTC)
I saw that you were looking into wicca and that's super cool that you're exploring new things in life. Who cares what other people think? No matter what you do, there's always a community waiting for you to share that love. It's just a matter of finding them.

Drugs should never be the default answer to anxiety. Hope you can find other ways to channel your stress, or at least find people who can help you handle the things that are stressing you out. Easier said than done, I know, but the tools are always inside yourself.

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[User Picture]From: cruxgothgirlie
2015-02-02 03:10 pm (UTC)
Thank you, doll! And it's not so much that I *care* what other people think, as it is that I just don't feel like having to explain myself. Either way, I'm really loving what I'm reading so far.

And honestly, THANK YOU - I don't know if you realize it, but you're one of the very few who never screams out things like, "Get on meds! Go to a shrink! SEEK HELP!!" I understand that meds work for a great number of people - I'm just not ready to go there yet.
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[User Picture]From: searchingbuddha
2015-01-31 10:18 pm (UTC)
FWIW, Wicca and yogic philosophy are totally compatible. There's a lot of beauty in both.

Looking forward to seeing you in August!

And I'm really interested in your yoga experience -- it can definitely take some time for western bodies and minds to adjust to a very different philosophy and way of moving, but I hope that your first experiences are good. I actually started with kundalini yoga in a community college class, then practiced gentle hatha with a bunch of 60 year olds for a very long time. (Then the gym burned down....five minutes after I was in it. True story.) I do vinyasa now, which I struggled with adapting to, but it's a much faster, flow-based cardio intensive style. My point here is really just that there are a lot of different types of yoga, so if you don't enjoy one, you may very well enjoy another type. It has also become an industry....so quality varies between studios and instructors, which is something to be a little cautious about. It's been hugely useful in my life (control freak tendencies...), so I admit that I always hope that people trying it are able to get half of what I get from it, as much as I realize that it's not for everyone. :)
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[User Picture]From: cruxgothgirlie
2015-02-02 03:12 pm (UTC)
Looking forward to seeing you, too! Will Cora be coming with I'm assuming??

I'm really looking forward to finding yoga that's right for me. The only one I've tried thus far (and this was ages ago) was Bikram, and I REALLY didn't enjoy the experience. I think the more gentle, calming yoga forms could be great for me. It's wonderful to hear that it has worked so well for you. You genuinely seem like the ultimate zen Buddha whenever I see you. So different from my frantic self. ;D
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[User Picture]From: searchingbuddha
2015-02-02 04:24 pm (UTC)
Cora will be coming! That'll be interesting...

I admit that I've never had a desire for Bikram. It seems to attract a lot of people who are looking for an extreme experience, but I hate to be too judgemental about it without at least trying it. I have heard that your first Bikram class is universally difficult and that it gets better with repetition. I have no idea how true that is. I was never looking for a "get fit fast!" sort of workout, which is what Bikram seems to market towards. Maybe that's judgey.

If you're looking for something more calming, you might want to check out hatha classes. Hatha will give you a good solid base for other styles of yoga and is pretty commonly taught. I think of it as a basic yoga style -- lots of emphasis on correct movement and meditation, with less focus on yoga-as-body-building. I also found it really useful while learning yoga postures. I happened to have an amazing teacher for it that was a former ballerina (this was the geriatric class), so she had a really good way of describing the postures and helping me learn how to make the subtle adjustments that make the postures work better. (I'm the opposite of athletic.) Yoga is one of those things where having a variety of teachers helps, too, because one will teach one aspect better or differently than another teacher. With the yoga-as-industry thing happening in this country, the instructional quality can really differ, so trying a few different teachers is not a bad idea.

I also look a lot calmer than I actually am -- but yoga has helped a lot with teaching me to accept the present. :)
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[User Picture]From: digital_hypoxia
2015-02-01 07:41 pm (UTC)
" I also don't particularly need to get any flack from people about it, as I'm a woman in her mid-30s exploring this. At the very least, I love reading about this and it has kept me super interested."

I know I have mocked local hipsters for fashionable occultism, but I would not count you in that camp (I hope you know that). You are actually studying it and not just wearing triangle jewelery and slapping Solomonic seals on t-shirts.

As far as anxiety goes, I have been getting by with Holy Basil and Passion Flower extract. They aren't perfect, but they do help without side effects. If you hit a plateau, you might want to try them :)
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[User Picture]From: cruxgothgirlie
2015-02-02 03:14 pm (UTC)
Oh, girl, I didn't think that at all. <3 Like you, I've seen everyone and their mother jumping on the bandwagon and saying stuff like that. It's like we're back in the mid 90s and everyone has just watched "The Craft" for the first time. ;)

I haven't tried extracts/oils yet, but I'm completely open to it. There's a shop I've been going to that has a TON of those oils, so maybe I'll look out for those two. Thank you!
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